Just Imagining 11-20-09

    Before I begin this week, I must apologize. What I am about to say will likely inspire more than a few sharp-tongued responses and maybe a playground beat-down or two. Some readers will be delighted and others will want my head. Offended or not, I won’t take back what I say.
    Over time, feminism has been injected into the speech, ideas, lifestyle and behavior of many of the women’s movement’s most fervent supporters. They, in turn, take charge of their lives, no holds barred, and rebuke anyone who attempts to step in their way.
    When these women get angry, the phrase, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” flashes across my mind, and I instinctively drop into a fetal position. From the look of it, you’d think I’m protecting myself from bears. No, folks, not bears. Just feminists.
    Yes, I just compared feminists to bears.
    Most women want equality, but some will mow anyone down to get it.
    Ladies and gentlemen, your opinion editor is not one of these women. Allow me to tell you why.
    Exhibit A: I love wife jokes. I’m more likely to tell a zinger of a wife joke than demand a “councilwoman” be called a “councilperson” to equalize her among her colleagues. I don’t necessarily think Sarah Palin’s recent cover photo on Newsweek magazine was sexist; in fact, any photo shoot where she poses like that just invites sexism to walk right in that door.
    Exhibit B: I don’t know a thing about sports, power tools or changing a tire on my car. So when people act like I don’t know, I don’t take offense - because I  genuinely don’t know. Where’s the argument? Exactly. Moving on.
    Exhibit C: Women get on my nerves. We always have to play the oppression card. Anyone playing the “perpetually oppressed” card sucks dry any respect I may have had.
    As a woman, I do feel kind of like a failure for not being more aggressive about female quality. What hurts more, though, is when other women berate me for “enabling” gender inequality.
    This is the point where the hurt turns into anger. Anyone who knows me well, knows when something is pushed at me, I instinctively shoved back even harder.
    Do feminists want me to stand up more for women? Then stop criticizing me for letting a man open the door for me. All it shows is his mama raised him well, and he looks far more admirable than the resident feminist cursing at him for smothering her independence.
    Better yet, when I think of the Anti-Christ, I picture a woman. Who that particular woman is ... well, let’s just keep that under wraps for now.
    I know by making light of it, I’m trivializing the women’s movement, and I genuinely don’t mean to mean everything my female ancestors have sturggled for in order to give me the freedom I enjoy today. But what fun can we have if we can’t poke fun at ourselves? Who wants to take something so seriously that all humor is lost?
    Do you remember the Japanese man who played Arnold on “Happy Days”? Pat Mortila was an actor who, as a child, was put with other Japanese immigrants into an American, watered-down version of a confinement ghetto in California during World War II. When he got started in stand-up comedy, what was his subject matter? Jokes about Japanese people. He indirectly challenged his audience to come clean about their prejudices about Japanese people while also having fun.         So what’s the point in beating an idea into someone’s head with a bloody mallet? If you approach your issue with respect and humor, that person is more likely to respond - and in a good way.
    Respect can be a complicated thing, but here’s how I see it: We have our differences and we know it, but we’re not going to use them as weapons toward each other. So let’s enjoy our company, agree to disagree and move along.

  Quote of the week: “Women rule the world. It’s not really worth fighting because they know what they’re doing. Ask Napoleon. Ask Adam. Ask Richard Burton or Richie Sambora. Many a man has crumbled.”
                   - Jon Bon Jovi   

    Song of the week: “B****es Ain’t S***” 
 - Ben Folds, by way of Dr. Dre

    Contact Keen at jodi.keen@murraystate.edu.