The Murray State News

Issue date: 3/13/08 Section: Opinion

Alaina Zanin

The nothing fight.
If you are one of the rare few who has never experienced the nothing fight, then you are truly an anomaly or you just are in denial.
It starts with something so simple as a sink full of dirty dishes or a wrong turn at a stop sign and turns into "I never liked your mother and your haircut makes you look like a meth-addict."
Contrary to popular belief, there is a right and a wrong way to fight.
Everyone has a certain way they deal with conflicts in all relationships, not just romantic ones.
Once you identify your fighting style, you can learn to work on your weaknesses and utilize your strengths to solve conflicts without going berserk at the drop of a hat.
Are you an avoider?
If you apologize after someone hit you from behind going 70 mph while you were stopped at a stop sign, you are an avoider. Avoiders try to elude conflict at every cost. The positive to this is they don't get in many fights, but the negative is they allow themselves to be walked all over. Arguments can never be completely avoided unless you are a hermit living in the hills of eastern Tennessee. But when avoiders do encounter an argument, they will freeze up because they don't know how to deal with it.
Solution: Communication. Muster up some courage and calmly tell your adversary what is bothering you and why. Don't hold it all in - that is how people fly off the handle.
Are you a regretter?
Have words ever left your mouth and you immediately wished you could magically make them go back in? In high-stress conflict situations, some people cope by saying things they don't really mean in order to get a certain reaction from their adversaries. You don't actually want them to go to hell for all of eternity, you just wish you could send them there for a little while.
Solution: Slow it down. Put a three-second delay on that mouth of yours. If you don't learn how to think before you speak, you'll regret it later.
Are you a loose cannon?
Are you constantly surrounded by egg shells that everyone else in your life seems to be walking on? Do you regularly black-out when you go into blind fits of rage? Do you feel unfulfilled if you haven't sworn at someone today? You might be a rage-aholic. This type of fighter is especially dangerous when he or she meets another rage-aholic. They are quick to anger and usually express it in violent non-constructive ways.
Solution: Express your feelings in clam words, not in violent actions. If you are overwhelmed by a situation take a "time out" until you can communicate effectively. This type of fighting can have grave results if not dealt with properly.

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